


Mad World

by WandaHoya



Series: That Grin of His [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, One-Sided Attraction, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WandaHoya/pseuds/WandaHoya
Summary: Things don't add up."Sirius Black lounging in her love interest’s bed sure was distracting."Nymphadora Tonks is obsessed with Remus Lupin. It’s cute at first. Then it’s not.





	Mad World

**Author's Note:**

> Betareading by amazing Remus M Lupin <3
> 
> The title and some inspiration are taken from Tears for Fears' song Mad World. See the end notes for the lyrics and a link to the song.

MAD WORLD

 

Smiling to herself, Tonks traced a heart with her index finger around the doorknob before knocking on the door. She had butterflies in her stomach, dancing around like maniacs. She didn’t know why she was being so nervous. Remus was the best and they had something special between them; everything felt good and natural when they were together. 

 

_ What a surprise it will be, _ Tonks snickered, squeezing the bunch of flowers she hid behind her back. It was the morning after full moon, bright and early with a promise of the Autumn coming. Although Severus Snape was brewing some sort of remedy potion for Remus, Tonks thought Remus could use some cheering up. They had had wonderful heart-to-heart talk on their last mission together and Remus had let Tonks know how much he suffered because of his condition. It had been heartbreaking hearing how being a werewolf had dominated his life since the age of five. Tonks had listened to him, offering words of consolation, even daring to take his hand in hers and hold it, their fingers entwined together while Remus told his biggest fears about hurting others while being a werewolf. What a mad world it was, someone so pleasant and perfect as Remus Lupin being such a dangerous being. No, Tonks wouldn’t take any of it. Remus wasn’t a monster.

 

She straightened her dress and knocked again, shifting her weight impatiently. She had dressed up in a nice form fitting dress that was something more dapper than she usually wore. She pulled the small flower bouquet behind her back, fiddling them like she was arranging them in better order although she didn’t know anything about flowers let alone what they were called. The reds were roses and the whites were baby’s breath but Tonks had no idea what the blue flowers were. 

 

No one answered the door. Surely Remus hadn’t left yet. Molly had let Tonks in and she would’ve told her if Remus wasn’t in. Tonks briskly knocked once more. He might still be fast asleep because of the potion. Her reasoning was interrupted as the door finally cracked slightly open. It wasn’t Remus who opened it. 

“Good morning,” she said, maybe a little too energetically, trying to hide her astonishment.  _ What is he doing there?  _ Tonks wondered silently, debating whether she had mistaken the door in the big old house. 

“Merlin’s balls Tonks! What are you doing here on this ungodly hour?” Sirius grunted instead of a greeting, glaring her with his haunting gray eyes. 

“It’s morning, a beautiful one to, I might add,” Tonks said lively trying to peek into the dim room behind Sirius’ back,

“I was actually trying to reach Remus…”

“Well, Remus is not here,” Sirius answered sounding irritated. He impeded her peeking attempts by moving in front of her in the door frame. Tonks let out a frustrated sigh. 

“Where is he?” she asked impatiently, pushing the door open. Sirius lowered his hand on her chest level to block her from entering the room.

“Wanking. Showering. Eating. Having a fucking pilates session. How the fuck should I know, I’m sleeping,” Sirius growled. 

“I can wait,” she offered, bending swiftly down and sneaking past him. Sirius closed the door with an agitated grunt and turned to follow her with his eyes.

 

“Thanks for letting me in,” she smirked as she eyed the room curiously. She was in the bedroom Remus occupied during his stay in Grimmauld Place for the first time. It was small and messy, a cosy den with some poison green tapestries. Piles of books and scrolls lying all around, couple of chairs stuffed with clothes that hadn’t been bothered to hang up. A narrow table pushed against the wall with more books and scrolls and some old coffee mugs on it. Heavy curtains had been drawn in front of the window making it dark like it was part of some other realm than the one where the sun was shining and everything was bright and clear. All in all, the room was a pretty worn out place just like the rest of the old apartment.

 

“I didn’t,” Sirius replied snarkily as he passed her and jumped into the disheveled, unmade bed. Before he dove under the covers she was able to recognize the purple dressing gown Sirius was wearing. Tonks had seen Lupin wearing it some time ago. Already back then she had noted it was more of Sirius’ style of garment, but at this point she didn’t care who wore it better as much as she cared why on Earth did these two men share a wardrobe together. Not to mention the bed.

 

“Excuse my rudeness, Tonks, the mornings are so hard for me,” he murmured under the covers. The duvet was covering his mouth, but his haunting eyes were following her intensively. His black hair was scattered on the carmine-clad pillow, making a dramatic contrast with his pale white skin.

“Can I help you?” he offered, having regained his usual friendly tone in his speech. Tonks wanted to return his friendliness with a sweet smile but she felt like the corners of her mouth had freezed. She was having some unpleasant feelings churning inside her while she was trying to get a grasp of things that were going on between these two men.

“Did you...spend the night..?”

Sirius didn’t answer, but the laughter in his eyes told to Tonks he was grinning widely under the duvet. It stirred the nasty feeling inside her. 

“What brings you here, Tonks?” He asked his voice muffled because of the duvet hiding his mouth. He lowered his eyes from hers to the flowers she was still holding on. The sight of the flowers seemed to make him frown.

“Don’t tell me I’ve forgotten his birthday? I’m sure it’s in the Spring or something. But Azkaban does something to your memory, I tell you.”

Tonks herself had totally forgotten why she had come in the first place. She looked at the flower bunch in her hand as if she was trying to wordlessly interrogate them about her intentions. It took a second or so before she was able to compose herself. Sirius Black lounging in her love interest’s bed sure was distracting.

 

“Yes. I mean no. No birthday. It was...full moon. I...I wanted to cheer him up,” she shoved the flowers towards Sirius just to get rid of them. Sirius emerged under the covers to take the flowers. He smiled at her, kindly.

“That’s really nice of you. Moony is such a gloomy person,” he smelled the roses before laying the bush on the bed beside him and continuing,

“Don’t let his fantastic sense of humour distract you. He’s sulking. Like all the time he’s just sulking.”

“I won’t,” Tonks nodded, sincerely grateful for the heads up. Sirius’ eyes were still curiously studying Tonks. Tonks found it irritating. It was she who should be curiously watching over Sirius. She actually didn’t know her mother’s cousin at all. She had grown up thinking he was a cruel Death Eater, then she had actually began to know him when she had joined the Order few months ago. She had instantly liked him, he laughed a lot, although he was also quite moody. In many ways he probably reminded her of her mother who was easy to laugh but knew how to throw a proper Earth-shattering tantrum as well. 

 

“So...does it cheer Remus that you...spend the night with him here?” Tonks asked trying to maintain a casual tone while seating herself on the edge of the bed. The mattress felt awfully lumpy and weird. 

“We used to spend the full moons together in Hogwarts. Old habits die hard.” 

_ Like really hard if even the 12 years of Azkaban couldn’t make you drop them, _ she wanted to point out, but she immediately scolded herself because of her mean thought. She understood that Sirius had had a really tragic and sad life. Sirius was probably having a lot of nightmares and their intimate friendship was the reason he was coping that well.

_ I should be happy that Lupin and my cousin have found their friendship again after such a heartbreaking breach, _ she reasoned.

 

Sirius started to look at the ceiling like he was admiring the antique borders of the tapestry, probably just to let Tonks know that the conversation about the matter was done. Thick silence draped the room and was not broken until the door opened and Remus Lupin stepped in, stopping in the doorway as he noticed Sirius and Tonks on his bed. He opened his mouth looking like he was about to say something. He didn't say anything though, he just kept on shooting puzzling looks towards them in turns.

 

Tonks didn't let his surprised expression bother her admiration of him. The widest smile appeared on her lips and she let her eyes linger all over him. His hair was dripping, indicating he had just been showering and that he was a lazy drying spell user. His upper body was bare and only a white towel was around his waist, guarding his private parts. He was really lean, his legs were lanky. His chest had scars all over. It looked like a map of secrets or a mystical writing in some foreign runes. He was magnificent. 

 

Suddenly Tonks realized she was being probably a bit too obvious with her stare as Remus placed his arm across his chest, his fingers nervously fiddling his collarbone. His other hand was grasping the towel, like he was afraid it would fall on its own and reveal his manhood. She lifted her eyes to meet Remus’, which were staring at hers, obviously wondering why in the seven hells she was in his room.

“Happy birthday!” Tonks screamed jumping up from the bed. She lunged to hug him, wrapping her arms around his bare, damp upper body. He was so tall that she was only able to reach her forehead on his shoulder. He smelled of cleanliness and citrus and some earthy scent and she inhaled him deeply. It was somehow mismatched sensation in the dim funking house.

 

“But you said it wasn’t his birthday?” She heard Sirius grunt from the bed. Reluctantly she pulled apart from Remus, feeling puzzled.

“Birthday? Oh shite, I was supposed to say  _ happy waning moon _ . Well, happy waning moon, Remus!”

She turned to retrieve the flowers from the bed.

“Look, I wanted to surprise you!” 

Unfortunately she had accidentally sat on the flowers, which explained the weird lumpy feeling of the mattress. But she handed the battered bundle to him anyway, and Remus accepted them thanking, still looking quite perplexed.

 

“It surely is a surprise to find you here, Tonks,” Remus finally said, letting his eyes brush quickly past Tonks, apparently to exchange a glance with Sirius. Tonks tried not to let it bother, keeping her spirits up.

“So it seems I reached my goal,” she said smiling wildly, spreading her hands in a brisk manner and accidentally knocking over a pile books that were sitting on the narrow table.

“I’m so sorry,” Tonks gasped while Remus started to assure it was okay. But she arranged the books back into a staggering pile with a swish of her wand. 

“There you go. The next time I knock them I’ll alphabetise them too,” she japed and finally was able to force a small smile out of Remus. It wasn’t the boyish, allusive grin Tonks had once witnessed and ever since yearned for, but Tonks just had to admire the sight of half-naked Remus Lupin smiling sweetly at her. 

“The roses are the fragrant ones,” she said nodding towards the beaten flowers,

“Wait, let me refresh them too,” she said twirling her wand and fixing the bunch with a spell her mother often used. The impact wasn’t as restorative as in her mother’s spellwork but it seemed enough to impress Remus.

“Clever spell,” Remus complimented, 

“And the roses do smell beautifully,” he added making Tonks radiant happy. At that instant her vivid imagination started to fantasize how Remus would release his grip and just let his towel drop while he would fiercely pull her in a passionate kiss, his bare erection pressing hard against her.

 

“Isn’t it time for breakfast?” 

Sirius’ grumble from the bed forced her back to the reality.

“Yes, breakfast,” Remus nodded starting to search for something with his glance from the messy room. He placed the flowers on the table and turned to the chair that was stuffed with clothes.

“I’ll just...my clothes...I’ll change into my clothes,” he stammered and still holding his towel he grabbed a pile of clothes with his other arm before backing out of the small room, like he didn’t want to turn his back to Sirius and Tonks.

“I’ll see you in the kitchen, then,” Tonks said and waved before he closed the door after him.

 

Sirius stepped out of the bed and stretched graciously like a cat before stalking to the remaining pile of clothes. 

“Remus didn’t expect to find me here,” Tonks remarked to Sirius as he casually dropped the purple dressing gown on the floor and started to put his briefs on, seemingly not bothered by Tonks’ presence. And because Sirius wasn’t bothered Tonks didn’t care to be bothered either.

“You didn’t expect to find me here,” Sirius chuckled with a mocking tone while pulling his pants on,

“I’m sorry I ruined your romantic surprise.”

“It wasn’t romantic,” Tonks snapped, although she knew she didn’t sound plausible at all.

“Yeah, right. Here’s the thing Tonks, you’re so painfully obvious,” he barked before he dived into his shirt. Tonks felt her cheeks redden with sudden embarrassment but she tried to hide it in a snappy snarl:

“Well it seems to me that you have something against it, don’t you?” 

Sirius came to a halt with his head and one arm in the shirt and turned his haunting eyes to answer Tonks’ challenging stare. After a brief intensive staredown he said calmly:

“I just want to give you a piece of advice; Remus doesn’t do dating. He’s a lovely person to love, but don’t go shattering your little heart over him.”

“Like you did?” Tonks asked dryly as Sirius continued with his dressing. The conversation was horrible and she wished it was over. Sirius threw his head back and let out a loud laughter, like Tonks had cracked the funniest joke of the century.

“You don't have to be jealous of me Tonks,” Sirius said,

“I’m a human wreck going nowhere. I live for the present ‘cause I don't have a fucking future. And Remus…”

“Is the same?” Tonks finished the sentence impatiently, her voice cold and icy. Sirius looked Tonks in the eyes and shrugged.

“I’ll see you in the breakfast table then,” Tonks said hastily and left the room, the nasty feeling still churning inside her.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Remus rocks the purple dressing gown in [Soul Kitchen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17543525).
> 
> Mad World by Tears for Fears  
> [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/0Qv7xi6uPSqH2k82tOkGSt?si=w3RWz3KCSDq3hsYJRZUj4w)  
> [AZLyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tearsforfears/madworld.html)


End file.
